c h o c o l a t h e a d w e l c o m e s y o u

One thing that annoys me is the fact that Faiz has a girlfriend and he can cope with his studies and got 4.00 for this semester. Meanwhile, I don’t have my potential life partner by my side and I couldn’t get the hang on my studies and end up getting 3.22 for this semester. This made me hate him even more. I don’t have any commitment to any guy and I’m only in my first semester. I should get a great pointer compared to Faiz. But hell no. Faiz always get the best things in life. I wonder what I did to deserve this endless bad luck. I felt like I never can compare to him. He’s always the best in my family. He’s always the kind one, always the good, kind-hearted, obedient one in my family. Give me a break. Give me some of your luck Faiz! You don’t need all that and stop being a go-getter! I hate you. It hurts to be the second best. In my case, I’m never the best. I’m kinda like the black sheep of my family. I realized that most of the time, I’ve been bitching about not having a boyfriend and all that. When I look back, I felt stupid. I should be worrying about my studies rather than worrying about some unimportant stuff and that includes whether ***** is thinking about me at the moment or not. Gosh. I need to straighten up my intentions first. I need to focus on my studies rather than focusing on what should I wear tomorrow to impress some cute guys that I have a crush on. Gosh, I really need to know what are my priorities. I want to get good results, if not better than Faiz. I wish I could get rid of any unimportant stuff that I put ahead of everything currently. I want to be better than Faiz. At least for once, I want to win something. I don’t want to lose anymore. Especially losing to Faiz. I want to win.